You know how people have “meatless Mondays”? Well, we have hot mess Mondays. No, I am not talking about some new one pot casserole or a fun new ‘I look like I didn’t try, but this took me forever’ messy hairstyle. I mean from the time my eyes open Monday morning to the moment I close my kids’ door and whisper “goodnight, you little monster spawn” my day is a constant whirlwind of insanity and confusion.
“Wait, what form was due today?”
“You don’t want school lunch today… ugh we have no bread..how about PBJ on a tortilla?”
“What does “wacky hair day” mean… eh, now it means I don’t have to try to run a brush through that rats’ nest let’s just jam a bow in.
And that was just THIS Monday morning.. and by end of school my kids are cranky, hungry, too wound up, and emotional about eve-ry-thing. Needless to say, Oprah would say that we are not living our best life. At this point, I would like to remind you that Oprah has no kids and have never dealt with a Monday ‘show and tell’ and the monumental decisions that accompany it. But this cannot continue, mostly because day drinking becomes less acceptable in the winter.
I suspect a couple changes could help with this. Yes, I have pinned all those tips on ‘what do this weekend to make your Monday not suck’. I bet you have too. Here is the thing about Mondays- they are just like the killer in a bad horror film. You know it’s there, but somehow you never see him coming. Sure, you feel the dread starting around 2pm on Sunday, but you are still grasping at those weekend feelings and probably trying to make some sort of memories with your kids or doing laundry.
You thought this would the part of the post where I suddenly reverse course and give you all these great tips and how much they have REVOLUTIONIZED our Monday mornings. Did you skim over the part where I said “this Monday” as in today? Of course, you did because us parents skim everything thus missing that it was wacky hair day today…
I have no ideas. I DO have steely, re-reheated 4pm coffee driven resolve! What’s my plan?
- Finish laundry on weekend. Forget it in dryer so it is still clean and in one place come Monday morning.
- Food shop. Leave non-perishable groceries in car until Sunday night to prevent “wait, what happened to all the juice boxes I just bought… are you guys kidding me?!”
- Have your kids make their lunch. Turn blind eye to the mess and the extra cookies they put in..
- draw a bath for yourself- bring wine, pens, and your kids’ home folders. Knock those forms out while wondering if your toe could actually get stuck in the faucet..
Ok, I can do this. But will it actually make a difference? Or are Mondays just destined to be awful……